23 September 2018


I suddenly realized that we were on borrowed time, that time is always borrowed, and that the lending agency exacts its premium precisely when we are least prepared to pay and need more time to borrow.


This morning has been strange. I’m sat here typing away on my phone when moments ago I was sat around deep in thought like Thomas Shelby of Peaky Blinders. I seem to enjoy the most ordinary things on Sunday. It’s usually just me, my thoughts, and some coffee until I’m ready to write it out and share.
My thoughts for the past week or so have been dancing between “borrowed time” and regrets. Personally, I do not believe in regrets. Once upon of time, I did something I wanted to do and the result weren’t what I wanted. Therefore, that experience is a lesson learned. It is what it is. That’s how I like to think of it, but a lot of people don’t and that’s understandable. I’ve personally spent way too much time swimming in my own mind enough to genuinely understand that there’s no changing the past. So, what’s the point of looking back? The people I’ve spoken to lately have been discussing both subjects in different ways. A lot of the times they find themselves dwelling on the “what ifs”, “I wish I never did that”, and “I wish I had more time.” We’re human. We make mistakes. It’s what we do.
Borrowed time is different. It is something we put our hope in, but is meant to fail. Over some wine, a couple of my friends and I opened space for discussion on anything. Regrets and borrowed time seemed to be on their minds lately and I’ve been all ears. A friend of mine said he regretted dating a certain woman because “in the end she made me feel the need to cry over every Arctic Monkey song. She doesn’t even know the band.” Another friend of mine spoke of her regrets on love. She wish she had more time to turn things around instead of just calling it quits because “life gets hard and sometime people don’t realized how much something is worth until it’s too late.” Being the friend with too may references, I mentioned Call Me By Your Name. It’s a novel, now movie, about a summer romance that happens on borrowed time. Like Elio, my friends spent the time after trying to get a loan on time, but unable to pay the fees when time came to collect. “A moment is all I need to go back and change my regrets to lessons learned,” said one friend who sat listening to me share my beliefs on the matter. Elio, no matter where he was in life, was still living in the moments where time was borrowed and life was bliss. Unfortunately loans are meant to be paid back. Even he knew that.


With the permission of my friends, I share this small, yet significant, amount of time when conversations ran deep on the second glass of wine. Both agreed that they manage to live without the burden of their regrets, but those regrets sometimes sneak back into their thoughts once in awhile. After hearing about Elio, they realized that he is not someone who they wish to be. I offered the idea that future relationships can be the way they take their regrets and turn them around to lessons learned.
As I finish off my coffee and Nick Cave fades in the background, I wish you a life without regrets. Maybe it won’t be easy. Maybe it won’t happen over night, but I hope someday, If you have these regrets, you can turn them into lessons learned.



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