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WITH A NEW YEAR COMES NEW BEGINNINGS

2018 was very good to me. I started at a new university and was challenged academically. I pushed out more content for my blog and worked hard to get it right. I did well with keeping up old resolutions and forgetting to make any for the new year. 2018 showed me what people I should keep in my life and those I should leave behind. I set goals. I accomplished some and I failed. I learned many lessons. I have grown from my mistakes. 2018 made me tougher and my backbone stronger. I became happier with myself and got further in the brutal process of self-love.

2019 has officially arrived. I am ready for her. I am ready for what life brings. As I said before, I didn't make resolutions. It's nine days into the new year and my mind has been stuck on what I want. I don't want another "new year, new me" moment because the process of being who we are doesn't stop because the clock strikes midnight on the first of January. Being is a lifelong process with chapters and levels. Being is a never-ending rollercoaster of trial and ever. It never stops. We learn and we go. We prosper. We fight. We keep going. That's why I don't have resolutions. I never really stopped being on the journey that I am on. None of us really can stop our own personal journey. They continue even if we change our mind.

SO WHAT DO I WANT?

For starters, I'd like more peaceful days. This means that I must worry less. It's hard when my anxiety hangs around like an old friend. I'm learning to trust in myself more and let the things I can't control go. I find myself taking moments out of my day just to breathe, tell myself that it's going to be alright, enjoy where I am in that moment, and to reflect. I never want to waste a moment or feel like my mind, body, and soul isn't centered or at peace. I want to be one with myself and that is another never-ending journey that's part of life.

I miss the days when I was in bed before midnight. I used to be asleep by ten. It used to be so hard to sleep because my body refused to rest. Training myself to go to sleep early was the best thing. I loved early morning when it would be just me and my tea. It took a long time for me to train my body and rewire my clock, but just like that it was all undone. Balancing university life and work is hard enough alone. Then comes the long hours of studying or having random graveyard shifts. I've gone back to not sleeping and inhaling espresso to keep up. It's time I stop. What I want is to reset again. I'd like to go back to when I'd get an early, good night's sleep. I'd like to wake up early mornings and feel like I can function without espresso. This something I'll be working hard at for the next couple of weeks. I need it.

Something I'm very happy about and I'd like to continue is the lack of time I spend on technology. The latest iOS update allows your phone to average the hours you spent on it each week. Last week was only an hour and the week before that was an hour and a half. I don't want to spend my time sitting on social media wondering why that person is on a beach living it up and I'm wearing layers to stay warm. I am not her. She is not me. Besides music, I use my phone for three things: school, work, and social media. School is currently not in session and by work I meant blogging. I'm not a fan of social media even though it's been useful in more ways than one. I like being outside and experiencing things. Cheers to spending less time on our devices and more time living.

This one is short and sweet because I've already written a post having goals and being inspired by someone unexpected. I have both short term and long term goals. I want to continue working on them. Sometimes I lost sight of what was important because I was caught up in my own anxiety. I must keep my vision clear and keep moving. This year it is more than possible to achieve a lot of them. Nothing can hold me back except for me and I am not about to sit around being afraid. Watch out world. I'm coming.

The last is personally impersonal. Sort of. I've been M.I.A. on the blog because I've been brainstorming. What do I want to do? I know for sure that I want to produce quality content that we'd both enjoy reading and reflecting back on. I'm not in a rush. So, while I figure it out, I will do other things to stay active. What will that be? Stay tuned and you'll see.

Shoot for the moon. Even if you miss, you'll land among the stars.” ― Norman Vincent Peale

While this post is about continuing on my journey, the title is fitting. You and I both have been given another year to do all the things we wish. It's up to us whether we waste it or not. Sometimes we find that somewhere along our journey is a new beginning or a new chapter. Continue on being your most amazing, authentic self. Keep working on you as an individual and see what amazing things come about from it.

I hope your 2019 is better than your 2018. May you prosper, reach your goals, and continue on this wonderful journey you're on.

DARIANNE
P.S. What are some things that you'd like for yourself this year? Did you make any resolutions?

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