27 October 2019

AMONGST THE CHAOS I FIND PEACE

AMONGST THE CHAOS I FIND PEACE

Lately, things have been chaotic. I'm in the process of looking for my first apartment. I've started a new job. I'm looking for a second job just to keep busy. I'm working on creating and publishing posts regularly. My family and I have started our pre-holiday festivities. I'm also going back and forth with my university because I want to graduate early. As I said before, life is chaotic.

Today is a gloomy Sunday. The rain is pattering on the roof and windows. The streets are empty. Luke Bryan's new song is quietly playing through my speakers and I am sipping on a large cup of Cinnamon Apple Spiced tea. I've been thinking a lot lately. What have I been thinking about?

  1. I've been thinking about things both big and small. The thought of being on my own for the first time is both scary and thrilling. There's nothing like having a place to call one's own. It makes me nervous, but I am ready. I am ready for this new chapter in my life. I may even start a home/apartment section on my blog once I have my own space.
  2. Negativity has been around me lately. I was dealing with someone who is completely toxic to theirself and other people. I had spent quite some time stressing over the negativity. My anxiety attacks became frequent. Then suddenly everything came to a halt. I spent so much time drowning in toxicity and negativity that I forgot to swim. I do not believe in spreading negative energy. I want to make a person smile when we meet. I never want to be the reason for anyone to shed a tear. When I remembered that my positivity is stronger than any negativity, I started swimming until I was away from all of the negativity. I've officially cast all of the negativity and toxicity out of my life. Life is good again.
  3. 2019 has been a very epic year. I've had many opportunities and countless blessings in 2019. I think about how I've managed to do such wonderful things like travel and experience summer like never before. I think about the autumnal activities I'm enjoying. I think about spring and how magical it was. Last winter may have been warm, but New York was still a snowless wonderland. The seasons have been good to me. 2019 has been really good to me. It has had its own plot twists. It may have had some tough moments, but 2019 has been one of my best years and I'm excited for a new year.
Life has been chaotic lately. I am still growing. I am moving into a new chapter. I am finding my way even through negativity and I still manage to come out on top. I am twenty-five and happier than I have ever been.

What have you been thinking about?

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21 October 2019

A QUICK TRIP BACK TO WASHINGTON D.C.

D.C. AND I HAVE HISTORY

In 2014, my best friend and I visited Washington D.C. for the first time. It was freezing. Our sole purpose for being in the country's capital was for a band. They call themselves The 1975. That night was a night to remember. It hadn't been a good year for me. I had been battling depression for years. I was at my breaking point. 2014 was one of the toughest years of my life. On December 2, 2014, my world would change in a cinematic way. Something magical happened that night. I became a riot.

My first trip to D.C. was very cold and almost traumatizing. I had just lost my job and couldn't afford to go. I hadn't known a D.C. winter before my arrival. I was ill-prepared for that winter day and night. We walked the long way to the venue because we couldn't find any monuments. We had fun on our way to the venue. Then night fell.

The night had become so cold that my toes felt like frostbite began to form. My best friend and I waited on the line outside of Echostage. We were enthusiastic. At the same time, I was ready to walk off the line because I went from simply shivering to convulsing where I stood. The moment we got inside the venue, we began to sweat instantly. It was a sauna. The general admission show would wound up being a show where concert-goers would begin to pass out like the domino effect.

Fast forward halfway through the show. The time came for the band to perform "Robbers." Matty sang "be a riot 'cause I know you" and something shifted inside of me. I had spent half the show crying. Then Matty sang that lyric and it had been the first step to curing my depression. It was like he has sung directly to me. That shift felt like an earthquake coming from within. I wanted to be a riot.

We made our way back to the bus terminal when the show was over. My best friend remained alert while I fell asleep on the floor waiting for a bus. We were waiting for a 5 a.m. bus but managed to talk the driver into letting us on the midnight bus. We were cold, hungry, and tired. At that moment I had enough of Washington D.C.

 BACK TO D.C., WE GO

Although the second time's the charm,  my first experience in D.C. made me want to stay away from the nation's capital.  Regardless of my feelings, my best friend bought two tickets to see The 1975 again. Admittingly, I started the day less than thrilled. I didn't want to go back, but I put on my big girl pants (slip dress) on and tried to keep an open mind. The ride there made me antsy, but that's not unusual. First stop, food. Second stop, adventure.

During our first trip to D.C., we didn't get to see any monuments. It's only fair that we made it our business to do so this time around. Because I had been back to D.C. a second time to visit monuments with my university, I remembered how to get there. After we ate, my attitude had begun to take a turn for the better. I tried to keep an open mind.

I was so excited to see the monuments on a warm day. I have only ever had cold experiences in this city. The Lincoln Memorial has been a favorite since I was child. It's the one we see in movies. It's the one that makes the earth look small. I was more than excited to be back and say hi to President Lincoln. I was also excited to see the Martin Luther King, Jr. Memorial. I took a couple of fun photos and then mimicked his pose. Thank you for everything you've done Mr. King. I salute you. We saw many other monuments on our walk towards the venue where the concert was being held. I began to see D.C. differently. The District of Columbia isn't bad when one is properly prepared. I would go again sometime.

THIS IS THE ANTHEM

When we arrived at the venue, there was a massive line that was practically taking over the water front. We didn't want to wait in such a long line. We were too excited to get in and see our favorite band again. We managed to get passed a rude security guard to ask someone who seemed to want to help. It turns out that our tickets allowed us to get in before the line.

Once we got past security screening, my eye popped wide open. It was my younger emo self's dream venue. I may have become more excited about the venue than the band in that moment. Once again we need more food. After we ordered vegan chilli dogs, we went to find our seat. They had the perfect view. They were high, but they weren't nose bleed seats. In fact, our seats hovered above the staged and and was situated next to the stage. We would find out that we had amazing seats and we could see everything clearly.

There were two opening bands for The 1975. Both bands had me dancing in circles. I was unfamiliar with the first, but had managd to hear music from the second band. The party really started when The 1975 hit the stage. The visuals for each song had me mesmorized. Matty, the lead singer, danced around the stage with his dancers and for fun. All I truly needed was to hear my favorite songs. He even blessed the audience with a song he hasn't played in a long time. According to him, that song is played special for D.C.'s grunge scene. That night is a night I'll never forget. Thank you to the band and my best friend. This trip wouldn't have happened without her.

On December 4, 2014, Matty sang, "Be a riot 'cause I know you." Something stirred inside me and brought me back to life that night. Five years later, I saw my favorite band for the third time with fire in my soul. I am a riot. D.C. was a riot and life is but a dream in those moments.

I've always followed the music and the music has always given me a new adventure. I can't wait to see where we go next.
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14 October 2019

ANOTHER NEW BEGINNING

ANOTHER NEW BEGINNING

As I wrote MY "BER" MOTHS GOALS, I began to make a plan to make the necessary changes in my life. I began to feel inspired again. I became hungry to work for a better tomorrow. I want more in life. There are steps that I need to take in order to make that happen. There are things I still need to learn. I still need to grow as a person. No matter what happens or how it happens, it needs to happen. As an individual, setting goals and achieving them makes me feel like a badass boss lady. Despite needing to take certain steps, learn more, and grow more as a person, I know that I need to take a leap of faith when necessary. That's how my new beginning started so quickly.

One of my "Ber" month goals was to get my finances in order. All I really wanted to do was find a suitable bank for me. I, and forgive me for lack of a better term, may have killed two birds with one stone. I have been miserable with my current position at my job. I have been extremely unhappy. I have wanted to quit for quite some time now. I don't want to be there anymore. While I enjoy working with the people I do, I no longer enjoy the company. Misery loves company and I refuse to be miserable any longer.

I began applying to jobs with similar positions in hopes that I can go somewhere new. I want to be the new girl again and feel that excitement that I use to get when going to work. The day after I applied, I got an e-mail to come in for an interview the next day. The interview was unconventional. It was like a personality test. I enjoyed it. When it was over, I went for a walk down Fifth Avenue. About five minutes after I left the interview, I received an e-mail from the company. I got the job. I have orientation next week and I'm excited to start. I'm excited to put my two weeks notice in. I'm excited about the challenges ahead. Not to mention my new job is in the center of all the festivities during the holidays. Can you hear my excitement?

So, you might ask me what does that have to do with my "Ber" months goal. Well, I got a higher paying job with a company I love and grown-up loving. I also got my finances together by finding a bank that works for me. This bank has interest rates that help my checking and savings accounts grow as I continue to make deposits. Life feels good and in order at the moment. I'm happy.

Thanks for letting me ramble on with this unplanned, unedited post. I'm so excited for what to come. I can't wait to start at my new job. What are you excited about?
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01 October 2019

MY "BER" MONTHS GOALS



Hello, October! Depending on how you view things, there are three months left in the year. September is already over. Autumn has officially started. The best part of it all is that the holidays are on its way. What's not to love? As I take a look back on the past nine months, I look back with a smile on the things I managed to do. My biggest goal was to go back home to Puerto Rico this summer. Mission accomplished.

This summer I took more chances than I can count. I had many first time experiences. I did what I do every year. I lived my best life. With summer vacation being over and the world is seemingly getting back to business, I thought I'd write out some things that I wish to accomplish.

 

Get my finances in order.

From switching my bank to one with better interest rates to prioritizing what I spend my money on and how I spend my money are a few things I need to get together. These days banks charge a lot for their services. They take from the customer and don't really give much in return. In my mind, a bank should help their customers grow instead of trying to take their hard-earned money. With that being said, I've done my research. I found that there are banks without fees. I also found that these banks have interest rates that will help your account grow every month. That's music to my ears. With a little more research, I'll have a final decision soon. Fingers crossed.

As for my spending habits, I seem to have gotten into the habit of going over budget and spending money on unnecessary things. For example, I saw ta pair of forest green heels that I fell instantly in love with. I don't own anything forest green, but I bought the shoes anyway. Then to top it off, I bought the same pair in black and I bought forest green dresses just because I wanted the forest green shoes. I'd like to break this new habit and slow down on the amount of shopping I do. I enjoy the fact that my wardrobe is made of key and staple pieces with the occasion "treat yourself" item.

Cleaning out my wardrobe.

Every season there are clothes that I outgrow and every year I donate those clothes. It's that time of year again. As I was packing for a girl's weekend, I realized that I have things that I've not worn or seen in a while. As usual, I overlook things and find them eventually. I've got some bins to go through. I'm quite excited to donate these items and make space in my wardrobe. Just like every girl on the go, I will pencil this year's autumnal cleaning in and try to be as thorough as I can without overlooking bins of clothes. Wish me luck!

I took the semester off.

I have come to the conclusion that my experience at university has been at my very own pace which isn't really a bad thing. Last semester was extremely stressful. I took more classes than I could handle in hopes that I would graduate faster. The results of that heavy load were one anxiety attack too many and a semester off so I can be one hundred percent ready to take on whatever the semester throws my way. My goal is to go to my university and sign up for the spring semester. I'm actually quite excited. Although, this may only be true because I'm not stressed out by the autumn semester.

I want to book another trip.

In July, I spent time in Puerto Rico and I fell in love with being on a plain. After the holidays, I plan on going on a vacation, but I want to do something before that. I want to go on a few weekend trips somewhere. I want to go somewhere festive because the holidays are coming. I want to go somewhere warm because, by the time December is here, I am over winter and just want to spend Christmas on a beach. Lastly, I'd like to take a spontaneous trip somewhere. I don't know where or what I wish to do while I'm there, but that's what I want to do. This may contradict my plans to get my finances in order, but I am a traveler. I love being somewhere new and it's time for me to go.

Places to Construe

Places to Construe is my other blog for my inner bibliophile. It's been on hold for a while because I haven't had time to read and write out reviews. It's time I get back to it. I enjoy writing reviews, sharing my thoughts, recommending literature, and conversing with you about all things books (fashion and lifestyle on this blog). So stay tuned for that. I'm going to make sure I have a book with me at all times. No more excuses.

Actions speak louder than words and I am excited to turn my words into action. What are your "ber" months goals?


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